In McDonald's 2 weeks ago, during a fun playdate with friends, the manager of this particular McDonald's overheard me talking to the lady ringing me up, sidled over to her and inquired of me, "Two girls? You are having two girls?" It took me a minute to realize he was looking at my belly and not over my shoulder at Maggie in the play area (hence, I will have 2 girls come summer). I pointed to my belly and asked, "You mean, am I have twins?" He smiled and nodded his head vigorously, "Yes, twins! And you are due next week!?"
Whoa, buddy, slow down.
I shook my head no, smiled, and politely (maybe a bit sarcastically) said, "Do you have kids?" To which he, of course, replied, "No."
I said, "I'm only having 1 girl, and I'm due in July. I just carry my babies all the same way--big and all belly. You better be careful what you say to pregnant women." I smiled again, a thin smile. Then, I took my food and walked off.
Was I really frustrated? No, not really, but on some level, it does perturb me how often people *assume* they KNOW you are carrying a boy (and you are not) or a girl (and you are not) or that you are SURELY due within the next few days (and you are not).
For crying out loud, folks. Take a few basic lessons.
1. ALWAYS tell a pregnant woman she looks fantastic. That's it. Keep it simple.
2. Don't posit your theories of gender/number of babies/due date. Sheesh.
3. If you are ALREADY a mom and you swoop down on a soon-to-be-mom and delve into #2 above, shame on you. You should know better.
4. Don't rattle off how hard/terrible/tiring/depressing/overwhelming it will be to add another baby to your family. Be positive. Right?!?!
4. And if a pregnant woman is close to her due date or past her due date do no say any of the following: "You are still here!" "Where is that baby?" "You look really big/uncomfortable/like-you-are-getting-no-sleep." Come on, really?! Who wants this baby here more than anyone!? Her.
Remember #1 and just stick to that.
"You look frickin' fantastic!"
End of story.