Wednesday, September 24, 2008

full of poop

Be warned.

This post will probably be considered "tmi" (too much information) for many of you, but it warrants telling (thus, I should write an apology up-front to those family members and friends who will be appalled that I am even sharing this...but, if you know me, I'm an open book...I'm pretty straight-forward, but many of you might not see it on my blog all that often). My friend Celeste posted a recent "tmi"story on her blog, so I was inspired to do the same. Plus, Aron is the one who suggested I blog what happened on Monday in the first place.

So. Here. We. Go...

For the last several days, I have been growing increasingly uncomfortable, pregnancy-wise. It's been hard to get up when sitting on the ground and I've just been feeling really huge...and uncomfortable.

Really, really uncomfortable.

Did I mention that yet?

On Monday afternoon, I was sharing with my also-pregnant friend, Kathryn, about how uncomfortable I was. Specifically, how tight my abdomen was and how it had been tight for *hours* and was not subsiding. The more I talked, the more I realized that it was becoming difficult to breathe...not asthma-wise, but rather felt like I had several sharp cramps in my chest...like when you go for a run and aren't breathing correctly. We wrapped up our conversation and about 2 hours later, after a nap, and not feeling any better (but worse), I started to freak out because nothing had changed. In fact, those breathing cramps were becoming sharper and sharper. I would say I was actually in pain. After doing some reading, and talking with a few friends, I didn't think I was in labor or having Braxton-Hicks or anything. I just knew what I was feeling couldn't be normal and heck, I am not even in the home stretch of pregnancy...I still have 16 weeks to go! No other symptoms were manifesting themselves and the bambino was moving a ton, so I decided to go to bed and call the OB first thing in the morning.

I dial the OB's number right at 8:30am when the office opens and for a full 10 minutes keep getting the answering service (how are our clocks not totally in sync!?). I *finally* get through to a nurse and she asks me a series of questions: symptoms? how long have you been feeling this way? and my FAVORITE: what level of pain are you experiencing (1-10)? REALLY? Who can categorize pain *numerically*?! I say I am a 5-6 because in my mind, anything prior to a 5 is just "uncomfortable," as in, "I'm tolerating this, I'm functioning, but I don't feel like myself." I'd say anything past a 5 pushes it up to, "I'm feeling some pain." She calls back, says there is probably nothing to worry about, but they still want me to come in for a sonogram.

I happily oblige.

The sonographer is excellent, says he looks great, checks all the vitals, the chambers of his heart, his cerebellum, renal glands, kidneys, bones, etc. All looks good. I am given a DVD and some fantastic pictures to boot.

Next, in comes the OB. He's not my regular OB, but that's OK. I like him instantly. He looks over everything once again and exclaims, "Your kid looks awesome."

I'm grinning from ear to ear.

Then...he proceeds to move the Doppler up higher on my abdomen and says, "Hmm...that explains alot!"

I ask him what we're looking at and he says, "That's your colon. See how it's moving up and down? It's doing the 'I'm-agitated-dance.'"

At this moment, I realize I am in actual physical pain as he is moving around the Doppler. Next, he moves it to my far left-side and I actually grimace and cry out in pain. He smiles again and says, "Yep, that's it! These are your intestines. See all the white spots?! (and there were A LOT) You are full of poop."

I about fell of the table. Are you kidding me?!?!

We laugh and he assures me he sees at least one pregnant woman a day with the same issue. I happily leave, knowing that my child is healthy and there IS something I can do about the incredible level of pain and discomfort I am experiencing.

The cure, you ask?

Metamucil: It's like 10,000 angels ministering to your digestive system.

10 comments:

  1. ok, i was holding it together until the 10,000 angels. i had to put both hands over my mouth to keep from waking shiloh with my hysterical laughter.

    great "tmi" post! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!!!! Glad it was just poop!!! We don't want any more premature births... been there, done that. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Really funny! It would've been extremely funny if he would've said, "Honey, you're just full of shit." But we all know better and now we know even better. Thanks for sharing. Glad to know that I'm not the only one out there with poop stories. Everyone poops....

    ReplyDelete
  4. AMAZING! Absolutely AMAZING! I'm so so so glad you shared every single detail! I loved every minute of this story. It's one that will go down in the books for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I laughed outoud. Definitely worth sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haaahaaa, I love you Suz! That story is so... you! Thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. That is histerical! I actually completely understand. It has only been a few weeks since I was there...and I NEVER want to go back! You can do it! I KNOW! I actually had a similar experience at about 16 weeks. Who knew poop could be so painful?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Suz! :o) The joys of pregnancy . . .

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just catching up on your last few posts and glad you shared! I'm also glad it was an easy-to-fix issue. :)

    ReplyDelete