Friday, April 27, 2007
A good take on Adoption
Do you know someone who has adopted children? Do you ever think of adopting as an option for your family? If so, I want to encourage you to read my friend Laura's recent blog post about her twin adopted boys (who are oh-so cute!). In a humorous (I was totally laughing aloud) and honest look at the issue (she is a great writer), Laura made me more aware of how I can be sensitive to families that have adopted (i.e. not always introducing the family as "these are the s0-and-so's with their adopted Russian daughter"). She wanted me to make sure that I note she is pro-adoption, but doesn't always want it to be a part of their name. I think you all could really benefit from this quick read and I'd love to know what you think: click here to peruse.
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Hey Suz! I do agree with your friend Laura, however, it is in human nature to wonder and have questions about these types of things... I get all kinds of weird questions about Zoe, because she was premature. I do not let in affect me though, because I know it's how we humans are, and while I do believe that people need to think before they ask something, well. It just usually doesn't happen that way... *unfortunately*. While I think the adoption is SO incredibly fantastic, and giving children a second shot at life is phenomenal, I think that the questions people ask should be taken lightly... not personally. Your friend, Laura deserves an applause for adoption! Something that so many more people need to consider... especially if bearing children is a difficult one. My hope is one day it will be easier to adopt children in America. :) Anyway. Have a great Friday!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, and one more thing. I {totally} agree that when introducing someone that has adopted children... don't include *their adopted* in any sort of introduction. Laura's right! They are *their* children! Their children view them as {mommy and daddy}. So, why would we need to include that needless information? :) I would think a simple, this is so and so, and these are their children, would suffice, right? *hehe*. Good idea to ask what we think! :) I will stop blabbing now. LOL.
ReplyDeleteLong time reader..first time writer... :O) Hey guys! Mags is the most adorable little girl. You know, in every pic she is smiling. What a happy family! See you guys in July. Lots of love!!
ReplyDeleteTam!! I was wondering when you might drop us a line. I'm so stoked you read the blog often; it means alot to us. THANKS for taking a moment to de-lurk. I do love comments. Thus, thanks for the sweet words about Mags. It'll be so fun to introduce you and B-rad to her come July--we cannot wait to see you guys and do Chicago together.
ReplyDeleteLove, love, loved it. Thanks so much for sharing that so I could read. I will be passing that on to some of my friends.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the talk...but again too short. Sorry, I again was so rushed I didn't get to call back. Maybe I'll try Monday afternoon?
have a great weekend!
Shey, thanks for your thoughts. I think it's just important to not always identify a particular family with "these are the adopted kids" just as people probably don't refer to your family as "the one that had the preemie." :) Hope you have a good weekend.
ReplyDeletePatti, no worries about not calling back. I look forward to our weekly phone dates, regardless of how long they end up being (such is life with kids!). I'm glad that you enjoyed Laura's thoughts. It also reminded me alot of Chris...wonder if she can relate?
That was hilarious! My friend Susan - she and her family are doing foster adoption - truly a unique but oh so needed calling. I am excited for them. They are in the beginning stages of being considered for a set of 7 year old twin boys. I'll have to pass this on to her - I know she'll get a kick out of it.
ReplyDeletei could certainly go on and on about this subject being adopted and all :) so of course i am pro-pro-pro-pro adoption all the way times a million, he he he. i just read an article in one of my parenting mags about a family having the same issues with the endless insensitive questions (and there is a similar article in another one about a woman married to an asian man who always gets questions like, "where did you get your daughter," even though it is her biological baby and noone stops to think about the possibility of having a bi-racial child). In general i think people are just ignorant to the situation and don't necessarily mean to be rude. But it certainly can get on your nerves when people make it sound like you "bought" your children (you are paying fees to make it possible to have a child through alternative methods, not buying the actual child...which people don't think about) or imply that your family is different or your children aren't truly yours because they are adopted. All my life people have asked me about my "real mother" and i say, my mom who adopted me IS my real mother, and the woman who gave me up for adoption is the woman who gave birth to me. (btw, questions have never bothered me because i love to talk about being adopted and educating people about what it's like to be adopted, etc.)
ReplyDeleteRoby and I were actually talking about adoption the other day. Even though we are able to have our own children, we are still contemplating the possibility of adopting in the future.
La, so glad you found it as humorous as I did. :)
ReplyDeleteHeth, good to hear that you could relate to what Laura wrote about. I think you also bring up a good point about bi-racial families and how we can be more sensitive to those people by not asking things like, "oh, is she adopted?" and really the dad is of a different ethnicity. Anyway, appreciate you taking the time to write back.