Musings of a momma

I'm not sure how to put into words all the emotions I am going through, but I think it would be good for me to try. Motherhood...what a ride it has already been. All of my life, I have wanted to be a mother and here I am. It's hard to believe that I am somebody's mother: this is the thought my mom said she had when she gave birth to me; this statement is a sobering one. I don't really feel like a mother yet. Maybe that seems like a strange thing to say. Maggie will be 3 weeks old on Monday and while not much time has passed, the concept of time escapes me. My days and nights feel much longer than the 24 hours they possess. Why is that? I'm sure it's because our lifestyle has changed. I no longer can get out of the house quickly if I am craving a Starbucks Chai, I can not nap whenver I want, nor can I pick up a book and read when I get the urge. I have to work around Maggie's routine, which is fine and natural, but an adjustment to say the least. After she is changed and fed, has had some wake time where we talk/sing/read/play with her, and she goes back down for a nap, I realize that I have a 2 hour window in front of me and I wonder how best to use it. Do I shower now? Do I make breakfast? Do I clean the bathroom? Do I read my Bible? Do I make a phone call? I'm not sure how best to use my time; I'm trying to take it in stride, but it's challenging. I also realize that right now I am adjusting to this new lifesytle with Aron's help and yet, he returns to work on Tuesday. Will I be able to make it alone? Yes, I know I will, but right now each day without him here seems extremely daunting. When my parents left last week, I realized how alone we are here. When it was just us in Chicago, I didn't care so much; I knew we'd make friends and feel at home eventually. The same is still true, but seems like a greater challenge now that we have a baby. I realize how much I miss family, how strange it is not to be able to walk next door and spend some time with my sister. I miss our friends. Part of me wishes we had moved back to Orange County so we could be near some of our closest friends. Shannon and Steve would also visit more frequently, as his family still lives there, so we'd see them more often. Aron's parents are there too and his sister is up north. Yet looking back at our decision, we felt it best to make the move to Chicago. I may be questioning that some now. Deep down I know that we'll be fine, we'll get to know more people, get plugged into our church, I'll meet other mothers, and I'll learn to do the daily routine alone while Aron is at work, but right now I feel overwhelmed with the next few months. I've been in prayer throughout each day and talk with Aron openly about how I'm feeling so I guess I'm on the right track. I also have several really great friends who call me regularly to check in (thanks, sista, La, Linds, and Shel for pursuing me!). To sum up, motherhood is a huge adjustment for me, harder than I anticipated; yet, I have to have hope for what is to come--that I will adjust, that Maggie will fall into more and more of a routine, and that my new lifestyle will just become part of who I am.

Sweet girl

Here are a few shots of our sweet Mags. Aron is so good with her; it's fun to watch them together. One thing I really love is to watch her sleep. I love how her mouth opens, her head rests on your shoulder, and her little hand grasps tightly to your arm. Case in point, picture 3.

The wonder of technology

I know Maggie's 3D sonograms are old, but I wanted to put one next to a picture of her "in the flesh," so to speak. It's amazing to me how much she really does look like the 3D picture; of course, she's much cuter in person.

All smiles

We picked up dad (aka grandpa) from the airport last night, so the grandparents have both finally arrived. Dad met Maggie for the first time and was immediately smitten (how can one not be?!). :) My parents are being gracious in that they know that most of their trip will be spent indoors with us. Activities revolve around Maggie's eating and sleeping routine, which I might add, she seems to be a doing like a pro (of course, babies are anything but predicable, so we are flexible!). We seem to have it down to feedings every 3 hours, with a 4 hour stretch in the night and what's more, my body seems to be adjusting to its strange new sleep habits of two or three hour intervals (with a nap thrown in in the afternoon). Maggie is a happy baby most days. We had her first pediatrican appointment on Tuesday and she is thriving, having gained 10 ounces in one week! We are loving our little girl and enjoying watching her develop.

I think tomorrow night we'll head out to a neighboring town and see the Christmas lights. At least this way, grandma and grandpa can say they got to see some of Chicagoland.

New friends!

Our friends Shelley and Randall met Maggie on Wednesday night; it was much fun to introduce her to them. We really enjoy their company and we look forward to growing our friendship for years to come.

Home again, home again

Maggie Grace McKay

Happy Wednesday and good tidings to all! Maggie Grace McKay says hello from Chicago. We apologize in advance for the brevity of the post but daddy duty calls. Here's the downlow:

Scheduled induction began @ 11:30 pm December 10th
Suzanne labored for 21 1/2 h0urs, but had failure to progress
A cesarean section brought our little one into this world @ 9:16 pm on December 11th

Stats:
7 lbs 8 oz
19 1/2"
3 girth units (young Steve will understand)

Pics:

1+1=3

It's 9:30pm Sunday night--we are off to the hospital in an hour to start induction. Here is a parting shot...next posting, we'll have a new member in our family! Keep us in your prayers; thanks to all those who have already been praying and sending encouragement our way.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, Aron. He's 29 today and getting the best gift of all tomorrow.

Bebe M's room

It's up and running and I wanted to post a few pics. Our CA shipment of baby goods finally arrived yesterday--what great timing. We can't paint the walls in our place; too bad. But, I do have plans for some fun and artsy wall decor with family pictures which I'll have to post once finished. The room is *very* small (like 10x10), but functional.
The framed picture of me in the crib will hang on the wall; Aron hasn't hung it yet. This is a shot my good friend Elicia (photographer extraordinaire) took of me this summer by the lake in Dallas. My grandpa made the small wooden crib in bebe's crib (not where it will permanently be); we'll use it for books or stuffed animals. My aunt used to play with it when she was little.

I MUST dote on my husband...

...and tell you all about the most amazing gift Aron has ever surprised me with (minus the engagement ring). He told me yesterday that he is flying Shannon out to Chicago on Saturday!!! She’ll be here for the birth of the baby, or at least very close to it (but the way I’m feeling, I think Shan will be here for her actual birth; this kid is just liking it in my belly and will most likely need some prompting to come out). When he told me, I totally starting bawling and cried for like 2 minutes straight. I so didn’t expect this at all; it floored me. She’ll be here until the following Sunday, the 17th. And, another great bonus is that her visit will overlap a couple of days of mom’s! Wow, wow, wow. I’m just giddy with anticipation.

Thanks, Mel!

One of my closest friends, Melisa, made our little girl the most *gorgeous* baby quilty I have ever seen. She picked out colors and patterns that are totally "us" and the brown corduroy border finishes it off perfectly. I had to post some pics of her handiwork!

Waiting game

As I'm sure you might have guessed, bebe M has yet to make her appearance. Aron is working from home all week in case we have to head to the hospital. What a nice treat! I've been doing laundry, getting final things sorted and organized, reading, working on Christmas gifts (which I have finished and mailed on Monday), and doing some cooking. I made these yummy gingersnaps from Rachel yesterday. They pair well with a warm drink. Last night, Aron and I hit up the Abbey Pub, not far from our house, so that he could play some live music at their open mic night. He's wanted to do this since we arrived, so we took the opportunity last night after our dinner at Piece, a famous pizza joint. It was fun to see him performing 3 songs he's written in front of a crowd of about 20-30 people.

I wake up each morning and watch the Today show, so I've been following political happenings more than ever and am more up on the news than I have been in ages. It's been interesting to discuss with Aron what is going on in Iraq and to muse on what politicians and study groups are postulating as the solution to "fixing" the situation there. But, the story that is most on my heart and mind this past week is that of the Kim family. I'm sure you all know they are the family from San Franciso that disappeared in Oregon last week. The mom and two daughters were found on Monday, but the husband, James, was not with them. He had set off on foot on Saturday to find help. It's Wednesday and they still have not found him. What a gut-wrenching waiting game what would be! I cannot even imagine what the Kim's family and friends are going through at the moment. I hope this story has a happy ending.

Flat...before & after unpacking (and some decorating!)

We have finally cleaned up and organized most of our place, so I wanted to put some pics up. The bebe's room still needs a bit of organization (though it is functional), but we don't have the crib yet (should arrive from CA next week), so I'll wait to post. I so love decorating for Christmas! The holidays are so warm, inviting, and bring back memories from my childhood. It'll be fun to create new ones with our little one.

Old Man Winter...

...arrived last night, dumping about 6 inches of snow, and it's continuing to fall; I love it! Cheers to our first snow in Chicago.

The first shot is a view of across the street and the second is a backyard view from our balcony .

Feeling ready!!

I had to post another shot of my belly because well, I'm huge--to me, my stomach is enormous in comparision to the shot I posted two weeks ago (week 37, see below). And although I may be smiling in this new picture, these last two weeks I have been the most uncomfortable yet and not really smiling a whole lot. Pregnancy overall has been so much fun and so easy; I feel truly blessed. So, please don't think I am complaining; I'm just at that stage where I cannot imagine being pregnant any longer, yet I continue to expand, my feet are starting to swell, as are my fingers...sigh. I'm just feeling like a big blob and ready to meet my daughter! Alas, there have been no signs that she is coming anytime soon. If she doesn't arrive by December 11, they'll induce that morning. At least the end is in sight, but still, I can't imagine being pregnant for 11 more days.