We are wrapping up our vacation in Georgia, having arrived at Aron's brother's house late last night. We will be here until we fly home on Saturday evening.
My time with my girlfriends was wonderful (I will blog pics and details when I return to Dallas), yet very difficult for me. I've given it a great deal of thought throughout our time together and most of it tied into struggling with Maggie. She was by far the most challenging I have ever seen her. And I was alone in parenting her because Aron was still in Dallas. I know it was a combination of being in a new place, her age, and her dad not being there. I found myself having to pray for patience regularly with my daughter and finding myself totally on edge all weekend long. I cannot believe how the ire can rise in me in a moment of frustration with her! I struggled to maintain a level head and patience at all times and it was unbelievable difficult.
The girl time, the time to connect and relax, really was perfect, but I found myself distracted with Maggie and focusing on still being diligent in training her heart, i.e. maintaining consistency, yet considering context of our situation (new location, no daddy around, and her age, like I said). I went into my trip with low expectations, as far as how it would look to connect with my friends and was surprised to find that my intense struggle came in the form of parenting Maggie. There were many wonderful moments with her, don't get me wrong: she loved all the babies, was gentle and sweet with them, and most of the time, played SO well with Elise (almost 3 years old). But, she struggled often with listening to me, obeying me, and whining and this was new to me...at least this MUCH of it at once. She has also entered into a new phase apparently, of calling out, "Mommy, Mommy!" whenever I leave the room, even if I tell her what I'm doing. It seems it's a combination of separation anxiety and whining and I'm bereft of how to handle it. My child hasn't struggled to this point with separation anxiety for any length of time. If anything, this whole experience has made me more humble in how I view other parents and once again, how in need of Christ I am *daily* in the teaching and training of my girl.
It's been eye-opening and created a vulnerability in me I didn't know existed. I have to remember to focus on the good things she does and relish the moments of sweetness.